Quickies # 2

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There once was a girl from Sri Lanka,
Whose puss was as big as a tanker.
You could go for a swim
In the depths of her quim
And you needed a lamppost to wank her.

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There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Don my soul,
You're in the wrong hole
There's plenty of room in the right one."

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There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
Making love to his girl in the rockery.
She said look you've cum,
All over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery.

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Were you a more elegant chap,
I'd ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legged, like a swami
For 'hide the salami',
But it seems that you're ill with the clap!

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There once was a man named Mort,
Whose dick was incredibly short.
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said,
"That's not a dick it's a wart!"

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There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too."

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