I'M GLAD I'M A MAN


I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe;
I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese.
I won't spend hours deciding what to wear;
I spend 5 minutes maximum fixing my hair.
And I don't go around checking my reflection;
in everything shiny from every direction.

I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing;
I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.
I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back;
I don't carry our differences into the sack.
I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too;
I know what the time is and I know what to do.
I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball;
it's more fun than dealing with women after all.
I won't cry if you say it's not going to work;
I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.

Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a man, you see;
I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery.
I don't get all cranky every 28 days;
I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise.
I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true;
I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!