Woman Bashing

Why did God give men penises ?
So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

What's the difference between a pay check and your dick?
You don't have to beg a woman to blow your pay check.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig ?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
Marriage.

What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
Its Braille for "suck here".

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't ?
Her navel.

Why do women close their eyes during sex ?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

What's the definition of a male chauvinistic pig ?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's' body, except his own.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb ?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

Why are hurricanes normally named after women ?
When they come they're wild and wet,
but when they go they take your house and car with them.

What's the difference between your wife and your job ?
After 5 years your job will still suck.

Why did God create lesbians?
So feminists couldn't breed.

What's the best thing about a blow job ?
Ten minutes of silence