THE GOOD, BAD, AND THE UGLY

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago


Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She's a lawyer


Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you


Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Ugly: You're in them


Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them


Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross-dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you


Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections


Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas


Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man
Ugly: He's your best friend


Good: Your daughter got a new job
Bad: As a hooker
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do

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