1. You must learn to pronounce the city name.
It is "Ork - Lund", not "JAFATOWN."

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.
Auckland has its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray.
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Auckland.
We all drive like that.

3. All directions start with, "Go down the motorway"

4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic... a
"Scenic Drive."

5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM.
The evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light,
you will be rear-ended, abused and possibly shot.
When you are the first one off the starting line,
count to five when the light turns green before going,
to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.

7. K' Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Ork-Lunder.

8. Construction on motorways & other main streets in peak Traffic is a way
of life and a permanent form of entertainment.

9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrase,
"Oh, we must be in!!!."

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.

11. All old ladies with coloured hair in a crappy car have total right-of-way.

12. The minimum acceptable speed on Motorway is 120 kph.
Anything less is considered downright sissy.

13. The wrought iron on windows in North Shore is NOT ornamental.

14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says,
"Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE EITHER (Refer to the New Road Rage rules)

15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 100 km in a 100 km zone,
people are not waving when they go by.

16. The Auckland Harbour Bridge road is our daily version of NASCAR.

17. If it's 25 degrees, Xmas must be next weekend.

18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Auckland city.

19. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a motorway,
just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else.
This is how Auckland residents notify Trans & Govt Departments
where exits should have been built.

20. You must get as close as possible to the car in front of you,
some people have a bumper sticker *Horn Broken, Watch For Finger*
or you may not see the finger in time.

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