Driving Rules

Turn signals will give away your next move.
A real driver never uses them.
Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you or the space will be filled in
by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change
is considered going with the flow.

The faster you drive through a red light,
the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign.
No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear-ended.
If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper,
come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people
can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting
for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in
before hitting the orange construction barrels.

Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible
to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice,
relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

Speed limits are arbitrary figures given only as suggestions
and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.

Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up
or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you
doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

It is traditional to honk your horn at cars
that don't move the instant the light changes.

Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first...
by whatever means necessary.

<-Back  Home  Next->