Private Eye

I'm a private eye,
I was sitting in my office, when there was a knock at the door,
which scared me half outta my secretary,
then all of a sudden the telephone rang,
I thought it was strange because I never had a phone,
so I went down stairs and called a cab,
the cab stopped with a jerk,
the jerk got out and I got in,
we got to my clients house and she greeted me with a burning kiss,
then she withdrew her smoke and kissed me again,
there was a man lying dead on the floor,
bullet wounds to his head, stab wounds to his chest and a slashed wrist,
then all of a sudden a brick came hurling through the window,
it hit her on the tit and broke all me knuckles,
so we decided to go for a ride in the country and got a flat tyre,
so she pumped and I pumped then we got out a change the tyre,
was getting late so she invited me to the bar for a drink,
when we got there everyone was feeling Mary so she left,
and they all jumped for Joy she was next,
finally we went back to her place,
and when I went to give her a goodnight kiss,
she closed her legs and broke me glasses.

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