Clean Jokes

Brain Exercise


Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert.
The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it"
also applies to the brain, so.......
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it
or are still "with it
" The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your own...
OK, relax, clear your mind and ... begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?


The answer is "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?


Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk,
"please do not attempt the next question.
Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.
It may be that you need to content yourself with reading
something more appropriate such as "Children's World.
If you said," water" then proceed to Question 3.


3. If a red house is made from red bricks
and a blue house is made from blue bricks
and a pink house is made from pink bricks
and a black house is made from black bricks,
what is a greenhouse made from?


Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks,"
what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions ??
If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.


4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany.
If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided
into West Germany and East Germany.. Anyway, during the flight,
TWO of the engines fail.
The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing,
decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails
before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle
of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors ?
East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"


Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else,
you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash.
Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said,
"Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.


5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute
then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?


Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree,
"you are to be congratulated on getting this far,
but you are obviously out of your league.
Turn your pencil in and exit the room.
Everyone else proceed to the final question.


6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.
In London, 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.
In Swindon, two people setoff and four get on.
In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea,
three people get off and five people get on.
In Carmathen,6 people get off and three get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?




Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name?
It was YOU, you dummy...the very first line says that you're driving the bus).

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