Just Jokes

Dear Employees

It has been brought to management's attention
that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,
this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance
of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided
so that a proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And just when the F**K do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No F**KING way.

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've totally got to be SH*TING me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a flying F**K.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my F**KING problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the F**K?

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: There is no F**KING way it will work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the F**K didn't you tell me sooner?!?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head so far up his ASS.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat SH*T and die.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: You can kiss my ASS.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F**K it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ASS.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the F**K died and made you head ASSHOLE?

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting B*TCH.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the F**K you're doing.

Thank you for your assistance in this matter.
With a little more work, we can all communicate with each other more effectively.
All staff members are encouraged to print and post
this document near their workstations for future reference.

Sincerely,
Human Resources

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