Dirty Jokes

Quickies

What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
Goes-in-tight.

What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?
Depends ...

What's "68"?
You do me and I owe you one

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!

What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A tearjerker

Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

What's the definition of a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.

What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
"Nice Dick!"

What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
Toys for Twats.

Why do we have orgasms?
How else would we know when to stop?

What's the definition of indefinitely?
When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you're in ...Definitely!

Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
They are both used as a meat substitute.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

Why is sex like a game of bridge?
You don't need a partner if you've got a good hand.

What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?
Gladiator.

Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the Blood Bank?
Sperm is handmade.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant

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