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Sex and Exercise - calorie counter
 
It's been known for years that sex is good exercise, but until recently
Nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different
Sexual activities. Now, for the first time in the Western World,
here are the true caloric benefits of sex.
 
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With consent...........................................12 Calories
Without consent.......................................187 Calories
 
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.......................................8 Calories
With one hand.........................................12 Calories
With your teeth........................................85 Calories
 
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection.......................................6 Calories
Without an erection..................................315 Calories
 
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris...........................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot............................92 Calories
 
POSITIONS:
Missionary...........................................12 Calories
69 lying down........................................78 Calories
69 standing up.......................................112 Calories
Wheelbarrow..........................................216 Calories
Doggy Style..........................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.................................. 912 Calories
 
ORGASM:
Real................................................112 Calories
False...............................................315 Calories
 
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging............................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately............................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories
 
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old.....................................36 Calories
30-39 years.........................................80 Calories
40-49 years.........................................124 Calories
50-59 years.........................................972 Calories
60-69 years.........................................2916 Calories
70 and over.........................................Death
 
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly...............................................32 Calories
In a hurry...........................................98 Calories
With her FATHER knocking at the door.................1218 Calories
With your WIFE knocking at the door..................3521 Calories