Irish Confession

"Bless me father-- for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is.

"And, who was the woman you were with?"

"Sure and I can't be tellin' you Father.

I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later,
so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that.
But you've sinned, and you must atone.
You cannot attend church mass for three full months. Be off with you now!"

Tommy walks back to his pew.

His friend Sean slides over to his seat and whispers "well... what'd you get?"

"Three months vacation and five good leads."

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