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Men Bragging

I wouldn’t say he is handsome – but he would.

Whoever said all men are created equal never went to a nudist colony.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six. One to screw it in and the other five to brag about how he screwed it.

My husband doesn’t have a lot to say.
Sadly u have to listen for quite some time to find that out.

Who is the most popular man at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry tow coffees and ten doughnuts.

Here are three words guaranteed to destroy a man’s ego

“Is it in”

Men at balancing the books

Said the bitter woman to her friend,
“When the only thing that’s stiff is his socks,
then it’s time to take the money and run.”

Why do bankers make the best lovers?

They know the penalties for early withdrawal.

What’s your idea of a perfect husband?

A man with a $1 million life insurance who dies on his wedding night.

What do a man and the tax office have in common?

They’re both impossible to get through to when you want to talk.

Any girl can live on lone – if he’s wealthy.

When do you care for a man’s company?

When he owns it.

Men at Death’s Door

Why is it that only 15% of men go to heaven?

If they all went, it would be hell.

No woman has ever shot her husband while he’s been hoovering.

There’s nothing wrong with my husband that a good funeral wouldn’t cure.

 

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