Men Bashing # 8

What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised ?
When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of ?
Dating children.

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball ?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle ?
She knows she's given her last blow job.

Moms have Mother's Day, Fathers have Father's Day. What do Single guys have ?
Palm Sunday.

Why do men snore when they lay on their backs ?
Because their balls fall over their arsehole and they vapour-lock.

The three words most hated by men during sex ?
"Are you In?" or "Is It In?"

Why do men take showers instead of baths ?
Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Three words women hate to hear when having sex ?
"Honey, I'm home!"

What should you give a man who has everything ?
Penicillin.

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying ?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn ?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

What is the thickest book in the world ?
"What Men Think They Know About Women"

What is the difference between a man and childbirth ?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable
while the other is just having a baby.