Men Bashing # 9

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment,
and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of ?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Double mint twins.

Husband: "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!"
Wife: "No problem, I'll get you some that is."

What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO ?
I don't know, I've never seen either one.

What do you call a man who lost 95% of his brainpower ?
A widower

When does a man open the door of the car for his wife ?
A. When he has a new car.
B. When he has a new wife.

Why are gingerbread men the best men of all ?
They are cute. They are sweet. and if they give you any lip,
you can bite their heads off.

Did you hear about the woman who finally figured men out ?
She died laughing before she could tell anybody.

If one man can wash one stack of dishes in one hour, how many stacks of dishes
can four men wash in four hours ?
None. They'll all sit down together and watch football on television.

What do you get when four men go fishing and
one comes back after having caught nothing ?
"Three Men And A Baby"

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away ?
a) Get away or I'll call the police!!!
b) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

What's a man view of safe sex ?
A padded headboard.

What do you call an intelligent man in America ?
A tourist.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs ?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

How does a man take a bubble bath ?
He eats lots of beans for dinner.