Blonde Jokes

50 Reasons to be a Blonde

1.  We can get laid anytime we want.
2.  We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3.  We piss sitting down so it's easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk.
4.  We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5.  We avoid speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg.

6.  We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7.  We get to shop at Victoria's Secret.
8.  We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9.  We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10.  Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sleep with them.

11.  Men light our cigarettes for us.
12.  Men hold the door open for us.
13.  We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!).
14.  We're cutier.
15.  We lie better.

16.  We're better manipulators.
17.  We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves
- you guys get the couch.
18.  We always have food in the fridge.
19.  We don't worry about losing our hair.
20.  We always get to choose the movie.

21.  We don't have to mow the lawn.
22.  We don't have to take out the garbage.
23.  We don't have to paint the house or walls.
24.  PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men.
25.  Cosmopolitan.

26.  We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27.  Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.
28.  PMS is a legal defence for murder.
29.  Men are like tiles, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever.
30.  We can masturbate more in a day than men can.

31.  2 words - multi orgasmic.
32.  We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
33.  Sweat is sexy on us
34.  We never run out of excuses.
35.  You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day,
but we could be having it that often.

36.  Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too.
37.  We get expensive jewellery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38.  We get candy, flowers and jewellery all the time because men fuck up so often.
39.  We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.
40.  Blondes are cleaner.

41.  Blondes have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didn't know).
42.  We're better arguers.
43.  We don't always have to think with our genitals.
44.  Massage!!!!
45.  Blondes know how to fake it..

46.  We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
47.  There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men.
48.  We're flexible.
49.  Better Tips
50.  There is no penis envy.

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