Blonde Jokes

Blonde Q & As

How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?
Tell her that the drinks are on the house

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort

What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?
A vacant possession

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for hours?
Because it said 'concentrate.'

Why can't blondes count to 70?
Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
The rest are hunt'n peckers.

How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
They spread for the bread.

What do you call a blonde on a waterbed?
Cherry Float.

What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
An air bag.

What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?
B.J.

Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.

Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
To avoid the draft.

What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
She's trying to hold on to a thought

What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A padded dash

Why do blondes use whiteout on their computer screens?
They couldn't find their eraser.

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell...she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Why did the blonde cross the road?
She wanted to see the geese because she heard honking!

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

 What do blondes do for foreplay?
 Remove their underwear.

What's the mating call of the blonde?
 "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

 What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
 Trying to hold on to a thought.

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