Naughty Poems

Toughest Thing

The toughest thing I ever had,
to tell my darling Mum,
was, "Why did Daddy have his hand,
on Aunty Mary's bum?"

And why was it, they rolled around,
upon our lounge room floor,
and why was Aunty Mary saying,
"More, my darling, more."

Then Mummy started trembling,
and glowing rosy red,
she looked at me and shouted..
"That rotten mongrel's dead."

She darted out the kitchen door,
and promptly grabbed the axe,
Funny how our parents have anxiety attacks.
She modified my daddy's car,
made all the windows crack,
removed the roof, and both front seats,
then tossed them in the back.

A huff and a puff and off again,
a bee-line for his shed,
Strange, I'd never heard before,
those words that Mummy said.

The shed came down in half a wink,
It seemed to just cave in.
And I thought for just a sec,
Now, what will Daddy think.

Her next manoeuvre, I recall,
I thought was really cool,
she took his drills and saws and things,
and chucked them in the pool.

She seemed to settle, simmer down,
and soon her ears stopped smokin',
but you should'a seen the look I got,
when I said..."Nah, I was only jokin'."

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