Oneliners

Quickies

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match
the stove and refrigerator.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade.
Who has the biggest Boobs?
The blonde because she's 18!!

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your Mom.

How do you know when you're leading a sad life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her navel.

Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex too.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Are you sure it's mine?"

What three two-letter words mean small?
"Is It In?"

If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in,
what do you have?
Divorce proceedings most likely.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at a US Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.

What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm

What do you call a aussie farmer with a koala under each arm?
A Pimp.

How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin?
You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.

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