Oneliners

 QUICKIES

Q: What do you call a doe with no eyes?
A: No eyed deer!

Q: What do you call a doe with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no eyed deer!

Q: What do you call a buck with no eyes and no penis?
A: No fuckin' eye deer.

Q: What's that you're putting in my mouth Batman?
A: a Cock robin

Q: How can you tell if a valentine is from a leper?
A: The tongue's still in the envelope.

Q: What do u call a woman who has sex for spaghetti?
A: A: a pasta-tute

Q: Who makes more money, a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker, she can wash her crack and sell it again!

Q: How do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."

Q: how do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Q: What's the best form of birth control after 50?
A: Nudity

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A:  45 kilos.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A:  45 minutes.

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